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Archive for April, 2008: Going back up that slippery slope...
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Archive for April, 2008

on the home front

April 21st, 2008 at 11:33 am

I had a weekend full of normalcy. It was truly great. Saturday morning I took the litle man to his soccer class. He had a great time and was very competitive. The last soccer class I got him into he was a tad lackluster and disinterested. I give it to maturity. I'm thinking about what classes I'd like to get him into this summer. I want him to be active!

Kohls was having a sale and I told my husband I planned on buying new sheets for the beds as we haven't bought new sheets...EVER! I've always used sheets given as a gift. I also planned on buying new pillows, but ended up buying a new quilt and blanket too. Upon his confirmation that the quilt and blanket were excessive, I returned them. I am quite happy with what I got. 300 thread count martex sheets for $22.50. My stepdaughters were very excited. It's comfy and good.

Upon my return home, my stepdaughters and I worked on some spring cleaning. The kids at school have ACT and Prairie State testing on Wednesday and Thursday this week, so I think I'll try to come home one of those days and work on cleaning. The other day I'm hoping to get the oil changed on the car and have it checked up--routine maintenance kinds of things.

Next Saturday I have a career fair to attend (barring my school's being there). I can't wait to hand the office of specialized services my resume. I should get a lot of phone calls from that. My special ed certificate is in high demand and I'm hoping to be able to be more choosy about where I end up. Maybe I'll even get some calls about summer school. If I do, then I'll think about teaching this summer. That extra money could really hammer some of this debt.

Friday afternoon I worked on applying to consolidate the private student loans. Only two companies offer fixed interest rates, but I'm wondering if it's better to go variable? My credit is still not good enough to get the lowest rate, so with a variable rate will it eventually go down? Or am I risking too much if interest rates go crazy sky high? I'm not planning on stretching them out the entire twenty years or whatever. I want them paid off, but I'd also like to get the best interest rate possible. In terms of the federal ones, many companies are no longer doing consolidations. I'm going to need some help weighing my options. Fire away with advice! I still have to get all the information regarding the teacher loan forgiveness program. I've taught four years of special ed, but at different schools so I'm not sure how that works. It could erase the federal ones almost completely.

Eight more weeks until summer break. Can I make it?

getting back to base

April 17th, 2008 at 01:11 pm

I sent the rental deposit yesterday to the bride via FedEx. She sent a much nicer e-mail thanking me for helping to make her wedding day beautiful. I had felt the original e-mail could have been a response to not getting her deposit back and am glad for my nature of not being confrontational. Alls well that ends well. I will continue to plug along in my business venture, but a tad bit wiser this time.

I have continued to e-mail and phone my birth mother. Things are going well and I've calmed WAY down. I'm just taking it one step at a time, but am very at peace. I feel so blessed that she contacted me! It's like a great gift from God!

My father had surgery yesterday. He is doing very well. I also enjoyed the day with my mother in the waiting room. Life is good!

So I'm back on the bandwagon of organizing stuff. My emotions have stabilized and I'm much more clearheaded and motivated. Maybe I'll skip swimming today and we'll go home so Mommy can clean. Hmmmm....

I'm having trouble posting the pictures (yes, I've tried) because the files are too large, but I'm not computer savvy enough to shrink the file size? I don't have photo editing software either. When I figure the dog-gone thing out, I'll post em. I've also thought about putting up a specific page somewhere so you can see that's the ticket! Maybe you can view them later today! The lightbulb is on!

Lastly, I love you guys. You keep me honest, down to earth and you sure as heck are helping TONS with my finances. Keep on with that great advice!

So I'll talk about it...finally

April 15th, 2008 at 05:01 pm

The wedding. Yes, the wedding. It was totally hectic and I was rather nervous. I was so exhausted I couldn't put together my thoughts about it...until now. Got a snippy e-mail from the bride. Sigh. So here goes:

Things I did well: I was on time with everything. I stayed for the wedding, set up and took down things at the church with VERY little time in between (she got married at this church that had like four weddings that day, less than an hour between each), I did a beautiful job on the bouquets, etc. etc.

Things that did not go well: I made this rose sphere (that she wanted) for the flower girl that fell apart (from the oasis foam). That was bad news. Then, she wanted these centerpieces on three foot tall vases. They became rather top-heavy when the centerpiece was put on it. One of the vases broke--I had only ordered twelve and she had twelve tables. Therefore, I had no choice but to put one of the centerpieces in a different vase (this was while I was setting up for the reception). Also, I had trouble with the lilies opening (it's interesting, because the following day, I had an abundance of open lilies--dag nabbit!) so I improvised as best I could (which is what most florists do anyway if something goes wrong--it stipulates that in the contract). I had this fear of the centerpieces toppling over during the dinner. She did not mention this in her e-mail, but she may just be trying to be nice. Who knows.

To me, it was a learning experience, you know? I won't do those three foot tall centerpieces anymore. I can say with honesty that it doesn't work well. And I can also honestly suggest fake flowers for a rose sphere OR an alternative for the flower girl.

My mother has suggested I do flowers for funerals instead. I kinda think that's a good alternative given that brides are unbelievably demanding and people don't really pay attention to the flowers at funerals.

The thing is, the florist for the wedding afterwards just simply dropped the flowers off in the vestibule and went on his or her merry way. I was there, supportive and made sure everyone had their flowers. Sigh. But that doesn't mean a hill of beans, does it. Whateva. I'll get over it after a cigarette and a glass of wine tonight.

I took very few pictures. I'm so upset over the experience that I don't even know if I want to post them. Again, I'll chalk it up to learning. Sorry this is so lengthy.

Between the break-in, the wedding and now the birth mother, I have been rather emotionally overwhelmed and have fallen off my wagon of getting myself together--financially, physically, mentally. It's going to take some time for me to get back up and running again. I think I may get that prescription for the antidepressant filled Smile I need a little help right now.

pretty unbelievable

April 14th, 2008 at 11:29 am

I now have this amazing sense of peace about my entire life. It is so fulfilling. She has had a beautiful life and I'm really happy for her. I never wanted anything less. She was 15 when she had me, so I always knew it was not a good situation and that was fine with me. She has loved me all my life although separated and I immediately felt all of the unconditional love of a mother from her.

One thing I absolutely have to check up on is there is a hereditary disease she's been suffering from. Graves disease and multiple endocrine neoplasia (both dealing with the glands). I'm going to get checked as soon as I can. It's weird, but a co-worker is always telling me to have my thyroid checked and I never go and do it. Apparently she's right on the money with that one!

In financial news, I have been transfering money from checking to savings after using coupons and preferred store savings. I look at the total at the bottom of the receipt of savings and then do the transfer. So far, including the automatic $25 transfered monthly, I have $68.34. Total savings tracked thus far is $42.84. Woo hoo! I love having various savings accounts. It's like I can have separate purposes for each of them. Once the emergency fund is at $1000, I will lessen the monthly amount put into it. I still want it to grow, but I want to be able to put as much towards debt as possible. I can't wait for the stimulus package. It's going to put quite a significant dent in that debt.

Flowers, yes. I must post pictures Smile Sorry, I'm just emerging from my catatonia. I've been totally zoned out for three weeks now. My father is having surgery Wednesday, so I'm sure the lack of normalcy in my life will continue.

NOT about anything financial

April 12th, 2008 at 02:44 pm

I haven't really slept well. She e-mailed pictures yesterday and it is eerie--we are carbon copies of eachother. I'm going to see her today. This whole thing is just mind-boggling, phenomenal. I can't think about anything else and I surely can't focus. I can't think about the budget or paying bills. I can't get up the energy to clean the house. I feel like I'm going crazy. I can't tell my "adoptive" mother about this; it would kill her. I spoke to my sister this morning and I was so detached. It was totally weird. It was like I was faking the conversation. How do I live in two different worlds like this right now? DH is so supportive. I am really blessed. I need to breath. It turns out that she (birth mom) has a very rare, extremely hereditary disease that is passed down through female generations. Shock after shock after shock after shock....

state of shock

April 11th, 2008 at 02:36 am

All went well with wedding. I do have tales to tell, however, have not felt like writing while trying to get back to normalcy.

I do want to share the crazy thing that happened to me tonight: out of the blue, my birth mother contacted me. I'm in a state of complete shock. It is so exciting. I can't believe there are people out there that look like me! More to follow...too shocked to share more.

welcome to hell

April 4th, 2008 at 10:53 am

I think it's partially just nerves, but I'm really anxious about getting everything done. This is the last time you'll hear from me until Sunday I'm sure. I've got 6 centerpiece kinda done (gotta add the silver flyaway thingies and flameless tea candles, but so far so good). I've got to go to work, but the good news is that we get out at 1 on Fridays. So I'm trying to count hours. The hardest part are these centerpieces, which is why I'm doing them first. Bouts, corsages, bouquets are "la la la la" easy and fun. If I don't make it through this alive, BA, will you take over the biz? Laughing....sweet Jesus...

Haven't felt like writing

April 2nd, 2008 at 06:26 pm

So I've been stressed and too anxious to write here lately. Floral job kinda sent me in a panic (after I came down from last week's craziness). Monday I had a heart attack when I learned that our local wholesaler HAD placed my order and my account was all set up. I was like "aaaahhhhh." I'll have over 1000 roses in my apartment as of tomorrow. It's ok. It gives me a bit of breathing room in case anything goes wrong AND I spoke with our senior council chair who is going to have a spring flower sale Tuesday. I may get that money back after all.

Wish me luck. I'll be up all night processing roses (stripping thorns, cutting, putting in water). Tomorrow I'll be working on corsages and boutonnieres, pieces for the church. Friday and Saturday are going to be hell. I may not get any sleep.

I thought I was coming down with something yesterday, so I decided to drink this Total Living stuff that my MIL bought for my husband. He's been raving that it's helping his eczema. It tastes AWFUL. I gagged and almost didn't finish it. However, low and behold, I feel better. Sigh. I'm going to drink more when I get home. The directions say you can add a small piece of fruit. How small is small do you think? An entire cateloupe? Laughing...yes, it really tastes bad. Sigh, what we do for health purposes.

Yesterday I bought four frozen pizzas (buy one get one free), two containers of pasta sauce (buy one get one free), box of pasta, four cans of progresso (or is it progressive?) soup, breadsticks, crackers and it all came to $30. I was thoroughly disappointed. $2.69 for a can of soup? Absolutely absurd...But, I won't have to cook anything complicated this week. I can't and I didn't want to resort to eating out lots of nastiness and spending money.

I can't wait until it's Sunday Smile