Going back up that slippery slope...

Last year, the high school in which I work started an Autism cluster program. I acquired the position as the teacher. This year, we opened a second classroom and we split the students based on their cognitive levels. I am working with the lower end of the spectrum.

As much as I have always been interested in Autism and have wanted to enter the field, it occurred to me during this crisis period of teachers losing their jobs left and right, that I bought myself a MAJOR chunk of job security by taking this position. It's amazing how little people really know about disabilities and how fearful they are. Even my administration knows unbelievably next to nothing about what I should be doing in my classroom, what to expect from my students and how to deal with them. In fact, they tend to completely ignore us.

In any event, I am very pleased and humbled by my work. It's like I go to work among the angels everyday. That being said, sometimes the angels and their Autistic tendencies drive me crazy too. But I love them.

Thus, I go to work feeling productive and happy and I get paid every two weeks and life is good. When I separated from my ex, I moved in with my parents. As much as this was supposed to save me, it has been more difficult than I could have imagined being a single mom. I need to bear down this year and definitely tackle my debts. I also need to stop indulging in looking at cute shoes. It always leads to no where good.

I have, though, started clipping coupons and have been saving the money from clipping coupons into a dedicated savings account. Go me!

Happy weekend all. I hope it is restful and/or productive for you!

Well, not really LONELY, just long. But I love a Led Zeppelin reference, so I stuck it in for good measure.

I'm no longer referring to myself as aevans1206 as in my absence, I divorced. From here on out it's Allie.

I've got to get back to base and I never felt more productive than I was when I was blogging here. I felt accountable and supported. Of course, I am quite embarassed by my current financial state, but that shall be rectified soon enough.

Regardless of my debts, I have been diligently budgeting my money and paying my bills on time. Thus, the journey towards financial peace begins again. I look to you all for the goodness you always send my way.

As to my personal dramas, to be continued at a later time For now, I'm back on the wagon and am going to fix this mess.

I used to have a weightloss ticker on my profile. I've deleted it, but am still lost in the struggle to lose weight--but I'm not too serious about it. I try to eat as healthy as possible, stick to a rough calorie count (VERY rough, I might add). In the fall, I took home a mountain bike free care of my parents and bought a bike helmet. When the snow vacates the area, I will again begin biking to and from work (a work-out, money saver AND greenie all in one). I had a coupon from Costco for $10 off a weight watchers scale. When I purchased it two weeks ago I weighed 163.4. Today, I weighed 162.2. Hurrah to that!

Also, checked out online payroll system to see what I will be paid on Friday. Thus, here is what I will be doing with that money on Friday:

23-Jan-2009 expense
Firestone 200
groceries 230
Library 60
Orchard Bank 1 25
Orchard Bank 2 25
Fed SL 50
HFC 100
savings 1169
gas 40
1899

I think I've shared on this blog that I keep track of bills on a spreadsheet. I anticipate what bills are due, what week they will be paid, etc. a few months in advance and as the date approaches, I zone in on what the actual payments will be. I have anticipated expenses through March also anticipating making (hopefully) a mortgage payment on March 20, for an April 1 due date. Here is the debt pay off picture:

By the end of February I will--
1) have 2K in savings (1K to be used for earnest money)
2) Orchard 1 paid off in full
3) Orchard 2 paid off in full
4) CFNA paid off in full
5) Capital One paid off in full

By the end of March I will--
1) have 1650 of Chase paid
2) car loan will be under 6900
3) hopefully will have closed on a house/condo

Big big goals. If I put my nose to the grindstone, I know we can do it. Then we'll file in April to get the tax credit and 1) pay off parents for loan 2) put the rest into savings. Continue pounding leftover unsecured debt. I anticipate I can have that all paid off by August and perhaps have even started pounding the car. Joseph's school will be out and we'll have an extra 700 per month to go toward debt. Also, I am coaching softball which will yield another 3500 or so (4K--take out taxes).

Whew. That was a mouthful. Comments are appreciated. Let me know if I'm too lofty here.

So, I've got to start afresh and get this thing back in gear. The good thing about it all is that I know I can do it because I've done it before.

Goals for 2009:
1) pay off all unsecured debt
2) pay off car
3) save all receipts to track spending
4) purchase a safe to begin keeping cash in envelopes(I live in Chicago. Can't risk a stash getting stolen).


Too many goals and I'm bound to fail. And now, the ugly details.

Credit
American Express: 1879
Chase: 3200
Orchardbank 1: 574.82
Orchardbank 2: 240
CFNA: 577
Capital One: 456.67
HFC: 2749
total: 9676.49

Secured debt
Car: $7800


On the horizon, at least, I am making extra money from tutoring at the moment. I will also be coaching softball this spring, which is an extra 4K. I have decided, however, that since I'm coaching softball, I will not teach summer school. A girl's gotta have a break if you know what I mean. Who knows, though. If an announcement goes around requesting teachers desperately, I may cave Extra money is extra money.

Also in the mix is the issue of our housing situation. Our landlord is in foreclosure, which is extremely frightening. Rent for a 3 bedroom apartment is $1800 (for something decent--and not necessarily good). I have a 5 year old (ooh, gotta change that on my profile--it's his birthday today) and will not subject him to some roach infested hell hole to make it a point to save up 20% for a house, therefore...I am planning on borrowing 5K from my parents so we can attain an FHA loan on a house. Property has come WAY down and thus, we can find something decent and pay even less than we're paying in rent now. Chicago is a large city and rent is skyrocketing with higher demand. I know, I've got a lot going on.

So I hope to use the 7,500 tax credit we would obtain in addition to the rest of our tax return to pay off my parents and pay down some of the debt. Our budget is quite solid and we have plenty extra every month for us to hammer that debt to the moon. I won't share my goals for student loans until I've paid all of the other yucky stuff down.

Comment at will.

Well, what can I say...I'm like a dog with her tail between her legs. Sigh. I am not too sure why I stopped writing here. I have been a lurker for months now, heating up with intensity, desiring to blog and finally, I have the motivation to do it.

Notice on the left where I have wiped all goals clean and left my poor profile looking empty. I've rung up the CC debt again. I can't exactly put my finger on how or why, but I have. The transition from my former position to my new fabulous position left us using credit for a variety of things and what not.

So, I'm in this place where I need to set up my goals again. The good news? I actually kept us above water this Christmas and have been diligent in using a spreadsheet to budget and keep track of our bills. I know I have the tools and the willpower to get out of this alive. Sigh. I will overcome!

Happy new year to all. I've missed you immensely.

Got a call this morning that they would like to offer an entirely self-contained class teaching English to me. I've jumped ship! Woo hoo! I have yet to resign as I want to see the paperwork needed for my hire before I bring down the hatchet. It's great news and I'm happy. Rather nervous about resigning, but I'm a habitual conflict avoider. Thanks to all for your wonderful thoughts and prayers. I couldn't have made it through without you!

Soooo...here's the shake down.

I was called for an interview at a CPS high school. Was offered the job on the spot. I asked for a day to think it over. That was granted. So, I called the other school and left a message stating that I had been offered another position, but would not like to miss out on the opportunity for a position at their school. No return call. I called the school again after two and spoke with the AP. Was told I did not make it to the second round of interviews. I was like ??? Basically, they gave me the run around. This lady could have told me that on Monday. They start school next Wednesday, so I just think they flat out lied about it all. First, they were supposed to call me last Friday. No call. Then when I called Monday, was told they would call Tuesday. No call. Upon the advice of a co-worker, I asked why I did not get the position so I would know for future reference. The woman would not give me a straight answer. So be it.

In reference to the second position at the high school, I had decided not to take it because it would entail some co-teaching, which I hate. I called the AP and let her know I was declining the position on this basis. She asked if she were able to maneuver the schedule so that I was teaching full inclusion would I take the position. I said yes. Perhaps this will all work out after all. Oddly enough, my grandfather went to the school for high school. It's funny. My first school was a school my paternal grandmother attended and now this. Sigh. Crazy stuff, I tell ya.

I do feel a sense of guilt in leaving this late, but alas, stuff happens. I'm not happy where I'm at. I'm rather tired of the whole job thing. When I was in college, I never realized it would be this bad or hard. I thought I was living a dream becoming a teacher and if I were dedicated enough, everything would be all right.

The interview experience with the other school has left me nauseated. This other school has been a tad refreshing. Who knows how it'll shake out.

Need I say more? Should I count it as a blessing? I mean, really, they told me they'd call by last Friday and here I am now still waiting for a call after being told they were interviewing another candidate today and would call today. I REALLY wanted to get out of here!!! Sigh. I'm going to drink a glass of wine tonight and wallow.

I called the school this morning and was told that they are interviewing another candidate tomorrow and will let me know then whether I have the position or not. It's all very stressful, but I guess that means there may still be hope that I'll get hired.

In other news, got some cleaning done over the weekend. For all of those who read my blog and remember my vow to use natural cleaning products, Saturday was the first time I cleaned my bathroom using baking soda and lemons. I would make a paste with baking soda and water and would then add some lemon. Scub a dub, rinse, wipe and very very sparkly. Yay! I got the idea from this British TV show called "How Clean is your House." I am a happy camper indeed.

Was supposed to receive a call together with a yay or nay about the position. I received no such call. Very disheartening. Shall be going to the air and water show in addition to cleaning the house to a shine to recooperate. Will call the school Monday just to check in and confirm (probably a nay, I assume).

I interviewed for a FABULOUS position at a LOVELY school today. I really feel like I could spend a good chunk of my career there. They said they'd let me know by Friday. Here's to hoping all goes well! I felt the interview went very well, but you never know. Sigh. I can taste the freedom...

I have been rather fierce the past two days in pounding the pavement for a job. When dropping off one of my resumes, the woman looked at me incredulously (as in, really, you want to teach emotionally disturbed children?) I have had two phone calls for interviews, so all looks good. I just need to make sure it's a school where I feel I can be comfortable and do my job to the best of my ability. After teaching at three different schools, I need to find one where I can set-up camp. I pray pray pray that I find something good. There are lots of administrators and schools out there that are not functioning well.

So, I had this conversation with my boss at the end of the year last year that somehow gave me the impression that things were settled and that I could make it through another year. Yesterday proved to me that I was wrong.

We were offered a stipend for doing some planning work and apparently, since I'm a special ed teacher, were weren't eligible for this? I e-mailed about it and was told it would be O.K., but then I got an e-mail saying my boss would like to discuss the stipend with me. When I spoke with him, he reopened some wounds from last year. I think this means that I can't make it through another year. The good news is I still have time to find another job. We technically have yet to report until next week AND we have two weeks until the students start.

I was hired the day before school started two years ago. Perhaps my replacement will start the day before school starts this year. I pray God grants me an out. I decided not to take the other position offered to me at another school because I could feel it was a bad situation and I don't want to go from the fire to the frying pan. Or the frying pan to the fire. Or whatever. Am I being unethical in doing this? My contract began again August 1st. I guess I shouldn't really worry about it, but I'm a good person with a conscience and I do like to do right by people.

Damn. Why'd I choose this profession again? And now I've got a masters degree in it. What was I thinking?

Yesterday was off the chain crazy. A storm blew through Chi-town with multiple funnel cloud sightings spanning the entire suburban and metropolitan area. We hovered in our stairwell for over a half an hour. Then, hours later, we had another storm, this time with torrential rains and the loudest thunder/scariest lightning combination. The lightning went straight from the clouds to the ground and judging from the thunder, it was hitting things in our vacinity. What an amazing night! We were up until after 1AM with that mess!

Where to start? Well, I have been utilizing our public library lately and have read a bunch. This morning I finished "Baby Love" by Rebecca Walker. A fabulous read for anyone interested. The Chicago Public Library has a nice, vast web site that allows you to request books to be placed on hold and sent to your local library. I may never walk into another book store again. I love book stores. It's like going into a liquor store for an acoholic. If I can make it a point to make sure I return everything on time, this is going to be great--and free!

With that said, I also just cancelled our subscription with Netflix. What a money pit! And my hubby and I are so tired that we never watch any of the movies! That being said, I am going to see if the library has a good collection of movies as well and will utilize the system by requesting they be transfered to our local branch. Can I get an amen on that!

Still working on getting this budgeting thing/tracking spending right. It's gotten soooooo much easier now that it's become a habit. Have to work on keeping a better checkbook, though. Grrrr....on we truck. Onward we move.

The exercising campaign has totally reached a standstill. Sigh. Here's to hoping I can do better. I am doing OK considering I'm on summer break in terms of my eating. If I'm not making my lowered calorie goals, at least I'm not OVER eating. But most days I eat within the goal. I bought some pants online that were on sale for about $11 a piece for the new school year which means I'm set for wardrobe! (except for an occasional new shirt here or there) For the past four years, I have rarely purchased new clothing for myself. I feel like buying a new shirt once a month should be OK. A girl's got to indulge in something, right? And I'm not talking a $50 shirt, either. I'm talking $11.00 at Costco or $8.98 at Steve & Barry's (if it stays open).

I'm not high maintanence. I don't spend on my hair, don't spend a lot on make-up (buy it once a year--bad bacteria, but oh well).

Tomorrow I get my raise! Woo hoo to that! Life is good...so far. If I get those paintings appraised, I will wait until the next pay period as I have to pay student loans and rent for this one. Things are moving along. Not at the exact pace I'd like, but they're moving.

My mother-in-law gave my husbands two paintings a few months ago painted by who she claimed is Robert Woods. Hubby and I did a little research and found that he's apparently well known. I looked at the paintings myself, but could not find a signature. Regardless of this, I took to the task of seeing about an appraisal.

I called the Chicago Art Institute who referred me to an appraiser (I assume well reputed?). He instructed me to take a picture of each painting and mail those to him rather than automatically come in which would cost $195 per piece. He stated that a lot of Robert Wood paintings are valueless reproductions, etc, so air on the frugal side. I did just that. I also e-mailed a supposed Robert Wood expert.

The Robert Wood expert basically told me the paintings are probably early works and are valueless. I sent the pictures to the appraiser anyway just to confirm this opinion.

Low and behold, in my mailbox today, I have a letter from the appraiser stating that they could be of "very good to considerable" value and that I should give them the dimensions and $195 for each painting to have them appraised.

What to do? $400 is a LOT of money to spend to find out they are together worth $400 or something ridiculous like that. I'd end up having them appraised just to hang them in my house. On the other hand, they could be worth something. I have no idea what to do here. Is the money worth spending to have them appraised?

My son has had a 9AM swim class in the burbs for the past week. I have struggled to get up and going lately and have run out of the house without food and thus, we have starved, a few times. This morning, I decided to stop at a fast food restaurant for sustenance. McDonald's was too crowded so we headed over to Burger King (AKA "Big King"--little man tate calls it that). I had a small hashed brown and a BK mocha Joe.

My brother called while we were at my mom's house. He wanted to spend time with us. So, we ran to his place of work and offered to get us lunch (he works at a restaurant). I ordered a side caesar salad with chicken in an effort to conserve calories and also did not feel like eating more than that--fast food'll do that to a stomach not used to eating it.

I decided to do a little homework in terms of nutrition. Prepare to be shocked and horrified (or for those of you who know better, smirking):

BK mocha Joe: 380 calories
small hash brown: 260 calories

caesar salad: 140 calories
3 oz. dressing: 460 calories
grilled chicken: I assume around 100 calories based on portion size
(I ate a much smaller portion of salad and dressing, but STILL!!!)

Just another reason to be frugal and eat at home!

This is mostly for Merch...proof of your point! Check it out. I don't know if it's legit, but kind of freaky.

http://www.koreus.com/video/telephone-portable-mais-popcorn.html

I'm motivated to make changes for the better in our household after seeing our electric bill go down. I've been turning off the switch of our surge protectors for both TVs before we leave the house. I usually keep them off until the little one wakes up, and even then, I only need to turn on one, if that. I'm also working on a few other things that are goals for us to turn into habit:

1) use cloth napkins (I bought 12 at Bed Bath and Beyond with a 20% off coupon that cost us $2.40--that's 12 cents per napkin!)

2) stop buying paper towels

3) recycle anything that can be recycled and drop off at our nearest recycling center (we do not have pick-up service here in Chicago yet)

4) start composting

5) stop buying products with phlalates

6) start using only natural substances (i.e. baking soda, lemons, vinegar, etc.) for cleaning

7) continue to unplug/turn off electronics not in use

8) start air drying laundry

This is a start. Perhaps a little lofty, but good none the less.
__________________________________________

I want to have a garage sale this summer. I need to work on accumulating things to be sold. That's a goal for this week!

Today, I'm going to grill salmon on a cedar plank, grill corn on the cob and am making a blueberry cobbler. Woo hoo! Thank you fruit store! Gotta love summer...

Last month, our electric bill was $30 cheaper than normal. I couldn't figure out why and thought it was a mistake that would be corrected this month. So when I checked our June bill yesterday, I noticed that even with fans going constantly, it was still almost $30 below normal. I have been unplugging some of the kitchen appliances when not in use as a course of habit lately, but that could not possibly cut $30 off of an electric bill.

Then I had a revelation. There is a lot of cancer in my family and I stopped using the microwave after reading some things about it changing the atomic composition of our food (as that is how the microwave works--something with particles moving, etc). Call me crazy, but hey, I prefer the taste of oven heated food now anyway. The chemistry teacher at school asked if anyone had microwaves to spare for an experiment she was doing. I gladly lent mine and told her not to worry about returning it right away as we never use it. I forgot to bring it home. It has not been plugged in our kitchen for two months now, if not more. We never used it, so it wasn't useage causing the high charges, it was that darn microwave clock! $30 per month for a darn microwave clock!

I need a little non-financial advice (what else is new). This time it deals with my mother-in-law...in relation to my husband.

My husband is quite a bit older than me. His mother is 84. For five years, she has been "plagued" by these little flying bugs she considers parasites, in her apartment. She claims they are brought in by the Koreans in her building and they they are the Korean Red Mite, which is not visible, and yet she can see them flying in her apartment. For years, she has been giving herself enemas, putting toxic substances all over her body, to get rid of them. She has seen many doctors, all who have diagnosed her with senile dimentia. I suggested over and over again that perhaps she was ill with something else and her symptoms were for an illness she refused to be tested for (she refused to have a pap smear or colonoscopy).

On a particular night last summer, she was so panicked in the middle of the night that she called 911 about the bugs. They promptly sent over two representatives from Catholic Charities who convinced her to check herself into the hospital to have her evaluated. She was not checked in to see a doctor, but was placed in the mental ward of the hospital. When my husband and his brother showed up at the hospital and saw where she was placed, they promptly told the staff they were taking her out. Nothing was done.

Last year, she began finding blood in her urine. She was diagnosed with bladder cancer. She has refused treatment and believes the Lord and the cranberry pomegranate juice she drinks will heal her.

Not ONE of her sons (she has 3) does anything about this. The topic is avoided, never discussed. In response to her having lost about 100 pounds in the past year, my husband will make comments like "I hate old age" rather than "I wish she would go in for cancer treatment." Granted, she is 84. If she wants to die, that's her perogative. But they're all in denial. It is so frustrating and it ticks me off everytime we have some family get together or some drama takes place where his mother calls the house in a panic. They all just claim, "oh, she's just being mama."

It gets worse. She for years has also refused to have cataract surgery claiming that she could possibly lose her sight. I told my husband that she will definitely lose her sight if she does not have the surgery. She has since lost her ability to really see, but is still reluctant to have the surgery citing that she could lose her sight. No one does anything, yet we are forced to continue dealing with the drama?

She has been at every hospital in Chicago and claims they all have done her wrong or will kill her. She believes Cook County hospital is the last hope for her--Cook County hospital is for those who have no insurance, people wait for HOURS there just to get treated and end up with things like MRSA (not that I'm knocking the hospital, I'm just saying). She is on social security and medicaid, but believes these places are all for just taking her money.

It gets worse. My husband and his brothers are kind of, I don't know how to say this, enabled (?) The brother that lives here in Chicago has not worked for about ten years and has lived off of the refurbished computers he sells. He lives in a YMCA and is always trying to scrape together money. His mother is always pitying him and gives him money. Recently, she has begun to give him money for his rent as the price of computers has come down so much, people don't want to purchase refurbished computers anymore. She claims she has no money to buy things she needs when she's giving all of her money away.

It is absolutely none of my business, and yet it affects my life tremendously. Everytime I try to discuss the issue with my husband or ask how she's doing, he clams up and doesn't want to discuss it. I know I have no right to get involved, but isn't that what husbands and wives do? Give eachother advice? Tell the other spouse where they see something going awry? I'm not naggy about it and I really try to be as nice and sweet, yet I just end up seeming subversive due to my walking on eggshell demeanor about it. Do I keep my mouth shut? Do I continue down the same path? I don't know...

Life keeps ticking, ticking along. I've had some setbacks in terms of my tracking our spending, etc. We've been overspending the past few weeks. This tends to happen when I'm off of school. It's almost cheaper to work!

I am very angry with the federal government. They have created this labrynth of a system for the teacher forgiveness program so it's as if no one can actually apply for it. Sigh. I'm going to have to begin making payments on that loan. I'm almost thinking that it may be better for me to begin snowballing that debt first to get it down to a number where I can apply for a forbearance. But then again, that would be rather imprudent as it has a lower interest rate.

I took a vacation with my parents and siblings to Wisconsin. It was lovely and nice to see that many family members have begun to change spending habits. We ate in most of the time (it was in a condo setting with a kitchen--we grilled and cooked). Before leaving, I stocked up the kitchen for my stepdaughters because they were to stay for an extended period--Mom going out of town. Mom did not go out of town, thus, kitchen is stocked. I will not need to do much grocery shopping this weekend. Small trip to Costco and the fruit store for some bananas, apples and berries.

The weather is lovely. We have yet to put in the window air conditioners. I'm hoping that we can put that off as long as possible. I dread a higher electric bill.

On the running front, I did the 2.5 miles last week and have only done 1.25 so far this week. I need to work hard at getting into a better routine! I'm also happy to say that although I did not stick 100% to my routine over the mini vacation, I did not go over a normal calorie count for myself. Now I'm back to the reduced calorie diet and am going to fight hard to stick to it.

Life is good, but I need to reflect on and stick to my goals. Happy 4th of July all! Hope you have a fabulous holiday with family and friends!

I used to be an avid long distance runner. It is the exercise of choice for me. In high school, I ran long distance in track and cross country. Ran about 30-40 miles per week. Loved it. In college, I never stopped running, but had periods of busyness, etc. What I did stop doing consistently was weight training. Bad news. I injured my knee and when I visited my doctor she told me that I shouldn't be running anyway--it's a terrible sport for one's body. Hmph. Tell that to a runner.

It was disheartening. It took awhile for my knee to heal and when it did, it really didn't. Got a full time job, got married, had a child. Now, I'm 30 pounds heavier and after visiting a sports medicine doctor, physical therapy, orthotics...I know i have runners knee AND flat feet.

I purchased a pair of saucony progrid for $40 at DSW last Friday and am on the move again. I ran Sunday and yesterday for a total of 2.5 miles. I am slow like a turtle and feel the entire weight of my body as I run. My goal has always been to complete a marathon. I have a long way to go, but hopefully, without injury, I'll do it.

Sooooo....the plan is to run about 3-4 this week and up it a mile per week. I also want to integrate strength training and/or yoga on the days I do not run. My knees feel good (orthotics and new shoes). I'm going to add a ticker to signify that goal. Keep me honest

Well, I just haven't felt like gabbing. It's strange how I go in stages of needing to talk about things and sometimes go into "just can't talk about it" mode. I've paid off some debt (prosper loan is gone) and lost some weight. I confirmed that I can qualify for a forbearance (not a deferrment because I have no loans taken out before 1993--who came up with THAT one?) so I will not have to pay anything on the fed student loans YET. I cannot claim both the title I school and teacher shortage area for loan forgiveness, thus, I will have to pay something back. I am putting my fed loans into forebearance for two years until I can file for the teacher shortage with is $17,500. Then, I will have to pay back what is left. Along the way I will most likely pay the interest so I don't have that compounded as well (paying back $3000 will be much better in the long run instead of $3000 plus a lot of interest).

Private student loans are due in July. I have setup automatic deductions from the checking account so we get that .25% interest rate reduction.

I also had a long awaited conversation with my principal. I shared the sped department's distaste with what went on this year and our feeling of a lack of support, etc. He responded very well. If nothing pans out in the way of another job, I think I can handle one more year there. Then it'll be easier for me to leave (we stay with an advisory until they graduate and mine graduates next June).

It's summer vaca and I'm looking forward to going through and gathering items for two categories 1) trash 2) sell. Then, I'm going to orchestrate a garage sale in the burbs are my parents' house. I'm hoping to walk away with some money that I can throw towards the debt.

My husband and I have toyed with the idea of purchasing a condo when our lease is up. I know everyone will gasp at the idea, but rent has skyrocketed and for us to pay for a 3 bedroom apartment (I have two stepdaughters who visit every weekend, so we need all 3), we would pay less for our own condo especially with the market going down down down. We can always borrow a downpayment from my parents, if need be, and pay them back. I just don't want to end up paying $2000 in rent when I can pay $1,200 on a mortgage. Sigh.

Well, I went to the job interview at the school in a terrible neighborhood. I arrived early, which was a tad nice because I was able to observe activities in the office. At 1:45 (bell rang), teachers trickled in the office to clock out and thus leave. To me it's a bad sign when teachers leave right after the bell--it means the day was rough and oh man do I need to get oughta here! Interview went well and I have been offered the job. I am not sure, however, that I want to make a move to another troubled school. It was reconstituted about five years ago with a new principal last year. Enrollment, according to the school report card, looks to be going down, so the school may be nearing its closing. No aid in a cross categorical special education classroom.

I told the principal that it's early and I'd still like to look around. She agreed. I'm nervous about staying at my current school. The special ed department is in upheaval as three of five sped teachers are leaving (four if I go). Our principal gives carte blanche to every department except ours--for some reason he believes he must have a hand in how our department is run. I don't want to stay for any more of that. I feel like it could ruin my career, or even worse, my self-esteem.

In other news, I'm trying out the sparkpeople meal plans instead of creating my own. The grocery list you can print out was HUGE and I got nervous that it would cost too much money so I headed to Aldi for the first time in years. Holy cow batman! What have I been doing all this time? I spent $40 for 3/4 of the items on my list! Then it was onto the fruit/veggie store where I purchased lots of yummy healthy things. I spent the most at Costco, but that was because my husband needed nicotine gum. I would like to encourage him to slow down on his chewing, but I don't want to be a nag and I prefer his chewing to our smoking. I also had a $20 gift card to BP so that took a chunk off of our expenditure for gas. Best part was that in planning the trip, we only drove about 7 miles which is excellent. Yay for strategic spending. There will be no midweek shopping trips as everything we need is in our kitchen. Life is good.

So I started my meal plan today. We'll see how it goes. I had oatmeal, raspberries and a glass of milk. I feel pretty full, which was my initial worry--will the plan be enough food for me. It is hotter than heck here in Chi-town. We bought three fans so we don't have to take down our window air conditioners yet. Do you think using fans is easier on the electric bill? I hope I'm right on that one.

During the past few months, I've apparently gained a bit of weight (more like a truckload). I was reading wisebread.com this afternoon and saw stickK.com where you pledge money if you don't reach your goals. If you do reach your goal, you get your money back. If you don't reach your goal, you can choose where the money should go. I have chosen the anti-charity route for psychological purposes. I NEED to lose weight! Here's the link to my profile. You can check up on me all you'd like (you're all like family now anyway):

http://www.stickk.com/members/commitment.php?cid=17539

Poke me, prod me, but please help me from giving money to the NRA (my apologies if you have a membership).

I went to that lovely job fair yesterday. It was one great big cattle call. I had two really bad interactions with two schools when the question arose "So what happened at your last school?" Then I realized I put "June 2008" on my resume instead of "present" as to when that employment ended (which it hasn't ended). It was so embarassing and I realized that the reason I'm leaving is going to be a sticky issue. You can't go to another school and say "that school/principal sucks" and saying "it just isn't home to me" or "I don't like the co-teaching model" just doesn't work. Sigh. Now I'm all anxious and nervous. Some districts have these lovely online applications where you have to give references. I haven't spoken to anyone from my first school in AGES and don't even know if I have a valid phone number for anyone. The principal also retired and I have no idea where she is. Sigh. I'm totally anxious now. The thought of going back to my current school for another year is killing me.

I do have a job interview Monday, though. It's at a school in a really bad neighborhood and it's self-contained LD/ED. I know this means rough times, especially in the school culture in general. I'm scared of making a move to a school and it being a bad situation, then having to stay for awhile...or worse, being asked to leave.

Argh...

My spirits are in the pooper. I also have to take a half day tomorrow to go to the interview which means less in the next paycheck. What's a girl to do?

Rough day at work. Earlier today, our principal rather unprofessionally and thoughtlessly made an announcement that hurt many in my department. It is yet another sign of what he thinks about special education in general. The seniors are enjoying all of their wonderful senior activities. It makes me sad that I don't want to come back next year; I would love to graduate my advisory (they are 2009s) and enjoy that wonderful last year with them. Alas, this work environment is toxic and I just don't think I can do that to myself.

I've come to the understanding that regardless of many things, my principal will be allowed to continue his inept and arrogant way of running this school. It's a shame, but I know I'll find a better place to use my teaching talents and will forget about this experience. We will all continue ticking independent of one another.

Have you ever experienced the look someone gives you when they feel that you are beneath them? I get that look quite often at this school and from many of the staff. I don't particularly consider myself homely--in fact, I was regarded as rather pretty in my youth. There is one teacher in particular who gives me this pity stare every time she sees me. It is just absolutely the most awful thing.

On another note, one week until I get paid which shall retire a bit more debt. Three weeks until bonus time which will mean the retiring of our prosper loan. If we get the extra $1000 bonus for 3 points gain on PLAN scores, which I'm hoping we do (but am not holding my breath) I will put a bit into savings and may also splurge on new running shoes. I've had my current ones for three years (no, I'm not in the habit of running--I'm rather out of shape and am in dire need of a good run). Last year I didn't buy new ones because I promised myself that I'd only buy new ones if I started running again. That did not work as motivation, so perhaps it'll work in the reverse.

I think I've pieced together enough to understand that I can have $5000 forgive now (because I've taught for five years in title I schools) and I can have the rest forgiven in a year and a half when I finish five years of teaching sped. I can also get a deferment for teaching in a shortage area for up to 36 months, which means I won't have to pay back a thing. Woo Hoo! I'm going to have to make my phone calls and confirm all of it, but it's all good. Yay! Yay! Yay! It's a good day.